Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo, Head Pastor of David Christian Centre, Lagos has revealed that education has less impact on the growth of a nation than marriage. Addressing this controversial approach to the resolution of the myriad of problems currently engulfing the world, he says the world is failing because marriages are failing. Most people focus on the trivialities of marriage such as the grandeur of the wedding ceremony but less on the actual marriage which lasts a lifetime.
“One of the reasons we are suffering is that people don’t pay attention to marriage. We pay attention to the paparazzi… People spend so much on the paparazzi of the wedding that has no impact on the marriage. Your wedding is not your marriage.
“You will see a successful Engineer, Doctor, Lawyer but he has an unsuccessful marriage. Why? Because he has spent 7 or so years studying Law, Medicine or Engineering but he has spent zero years studying marriage.
He made these statements during his sermon, which he titled “relationship goals for women part 3” during the love weekend, Valentine celebration. He says the society has designed a marriage in a way that does not conform with human and godly understanding.
Because of this poor understanding, many people focus on the wrong things like organizing a glitzy wedding. “We are very quick to spend on wedding gowns and suit but we are not ready to spend on knowledge. Your wedding is not your marriage. The wedding is just for a few hours; marriage is for life; wedding is for people, marriage is for two of you; wedding is a ceremony, marriage is a covenant.”
Parental and societal pressure also lead people into marriages that won’t last because they go into marriage without understanding the demands of marriage. Before marriage you need to answer some questions internally.
“Are you whole? Are you complete? Are you properly single? You have to be properly single before you can be properly married. Single means to be whole.”
He berates singles who are uncomfortable with their status but react to singleness as if it were a problem. He says being single is a stage of life that one should be proud of especially when it is in accordance with the will of God. “To be single is not a crime. Jesus was single. Jesus was never pressured to marry. Imagine Jesus marrying.
“If society pressure still gets to you, it means you are not yet properly single. You are not yet whole. Because in life you will always see things that are happening in other people’s lives but not your life.”
An unsuccessful marriage leads to a disorganized family. And a disorganized family leads to a failed society. He believes many people do not see marriage the way God sees it. And this is the reason we seek help from governments, the church and everywhere else apart from the family unit.
“Marriage is so important to God. God sees marriage as His best tool to change the world. Unfortunately, we humans do not see marriage like that. For us we just see marriage as a quick fix to some of our own problems. But Good sees marriage as a way to transform and mold this world.
“God knows that families will change the world. All the problems we are facing came out of a family. Every Armed Robber came out of a family, every Terrorist came out of a family, every Prostitute came out of a family.
He also introduced his bestselling books on marriage including when am I ready?, 25 wrong reasons people enter relationships and who should I marry.
