Christian marriages in many parts of Africa continue to suffer due to over-propped ego, misinterpretation of the bible, selective implementation of bible principles or doctrines, non-Christian social values and many other factors. One of the most controversial topics is the role a man plays in the life of his wife and the responsibilities of the wife in the union.
Peer pressure, educational background and social trends are some of the factors that influence the characters and duties of each spouse in the marriage. In recent times many husbands have taken up the roles of tyrant and authoritarian dictators while wives want to maintain their independent status in spite of marriage and say, ‘I can’t be control.’
Lady Rev. Dr. Charlotte Oduro, a Pastor and Marriage Counsellor says, women were made for men. “You were made for the man. God brought you into the life of a man to establish God’s purpose. The man cannot be fulfilled if the woman is not there. You were brought for a purpose. You are the one that inspires our men.”
She says men function better when they have supportive women beside them even in carrying out spiritual duties. “Any man of God that stands on the altar to preach, you will be strong enough if your wife is a prayerful woman.”
Though she says, “the purpose of a woman is a man and the joy of every woman is her husband,” the duty of woman is not limited to serving her husband. But serving her husband is a major assignment in her life, because the success or failure of her husband depends on her support.
“In the life of a man, a woman is the worshipper, the woman is a provider, the woman is the altar where the fire burns, the woman is the one that inspires the man to become the best. The woman completes everything.”
She berates women who flaunt celibacy or feel arrogant to submit to a man. While you don’t need a man to make it in life, “if you want to be complete, you need a man.”
God has placed in each gender, an element that completes the other. The man needs the woman as much as the woman needs the man.
She encouraged women to be humble enough to serve God through their husbands and take directives from them because such is the will of God. She adds that, “If I can’t respect my husband, I can’t serve God,” because Ephesians 5 vs 22 says, submit yourselves to your husbands, as unto the Lord.
“When you do not submit to God, there are somethings God will not give to you because you will be arrogant about it.”
“Treat your husbands as your Lord, just as Sarah did to Abraham.
Quoting Proverbs 31 vs 12, she says, “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” She encouraged women to support their men at all times. And not just when he does what pleases the wife.
She says a woman should have a successful career, but at home, the husband is the boss. Her wealth and intellect do not place her above her husband.
She advised women not to fall into the hands of a man or get into marriage because of his good looks or wealth. She says, “Be careful when choosing a spouse, choose a man that you can honour, respect and obey because God has asked you to submit to him. This can only be done if you allow God choose your man for you. Do not just go after outward beauty or money.”
“That is why you need to pick a man that sees God as his head so that you will be able to submit to him as your head.
“There are men out there and they are not from God. If you marry them, they will bully you.
Marriage is a critical tool of God, which He uses to spread the gospel. Men equally need to be careful when seeking a wife. Education, fluency in English and other physical attributes do not matter as much. “Find that woman. Find out if she is the woman that God has destined for your life.”
The responsibilities of a woman in the home is vast. Women are responsible for men. Not just husbands but men. Your son becomes what you mould him into. If he is irresponsible in marriage it is largely because of you the mother, a woman.
“If a man will become a better man, it depends on a woman. Mothers need to train their sons to be responsible, to serve and worship God so that when he meets that woman, she will easily connect with him and they can worship together.”
Lady Rev. Oduro encouraged women to focus on their assignment as ordained by God and do away with inferiority complex that many women of this generation express towards serving God through their husband.
Lady Rev. Dr. Charlotte Oduro in the Convener of Real Woman in Me movement, which seeks to expunge the earthly definition of womanhood from Christian women and teach them the purpose of womanhood on earth.
She did this presentation during this year’s edition of Women of Power conference, organised by Dzifa Kissiward Music.
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